46

This blog was with me for almost one and a half year! I blogged for exactly 46 posts including this one! Hahahaha. 

The way I blogged has always been an enigma. No patterns, no nothing. All based on my randomness, maybe.

 In about one month from today , I will be stepping into another realm! 

I guess, I shall stop here. :D Take care, guys~

 

那一年 我們都在青春裡掙扎

Ahhhhhh~

Somehow, I think I need someone to talk to~

Words

5 centimeters per second.

They say it's 5 centimeters per second.

The speed at which cherry blossom petals fall, 5 centimeters per second.

People tend to start together in a tree like the blossoms, and then as life goes on we all float down slowly and spread apart. 

By just living one's life, sadness accumulates here and there. 

It must really be a lonelier journey than anyone could imagine. Cutting through absolute darkness, encountering nothing but the occasional hydrogen atom. Flying blindly into the abyss, believing therein lie the answers to the mysteries of the universe. 

We shall,

Moving on from past connections instead of just living in the past, finds a way to become happy in the present rather than pining for what has been lost over time. 

When the other penguins moved on, its time for you to move on, too.

 

Almost the end~

Since a few days back, I have been thinking~ Thinking about the short -but not so short life in SMSA. My uncles and aunties once told me that going to Smsa is nothing but a big mistake in life, waste both youth and time! 

Now, I am certain that this is not the case! In this 15 months, I met lots of great new friends there~ Of coz, reunite with my awesome childhood friends too! We share lots of sweet, bitter and crappy moments together~ 

But then.....

Alevel is approaching, not only we have to study but is it an indication of the days in SMSA is coming to an end?    

To think of it, I am bad in saying "goodbye"! Just don't know how to say goodbye to friends who are so close but yet need to be separated in the end! :(

Yesterday, my dad's old workmate pay my dad a visit! This sweet uncle told me that his youth have long gone! He told me that its my time now~ Instead of being happy, I feel empty all out of a sudden! 

In my mind. I am asking, "Am I ready for it?"

He told me that studying and going to school is the sweetest moments for one's life. When you are done with all that and go out of house to face life, betrayal, back-stabbing, lies are always the most painful. (This particular uncle looks so emotional and seems like about to cry... haha)

Again! Am I ready for it? My mum tell me thats reality~ She even told me that you must keep some distance and ready to have a backup plan in every occasions, even when dealing or talking with you best of friends~ 

I don't know what to do~ I rather not be so selfish and will share everything openly with friends. The world is just not the world that I expect it to be! Too harsh ,perhaps~ Maybe, I just too stubborn to accept reality!

Its like you have to be those people who should carefully plan everything, don't tell the whole truth and will do anything just to be successful! Including betraying your family and etc! Evil and wicked*

Haha, if you watch movie! The hero will say "money is not everything"! For me, "Without money, you won't get anything or be happy in this new world". 

We will each got our own family in the future, we as adult MAY understand that wants aren't equal to needs. We need to save money and plan for future, for our family and etc.

but then....

One day in the future  if your 13 years old, son/ daughter ask you to buy an Ipad3.0 to her! If you think about it, every single classmates of her got one, only she don't have! Most importantly, you need to save money too! You reject the suggestion and didn't buy one for her. 

 How can you expect he/her to understand the part that wants and needs are two different things! Your son/daughter may turn to really hate you, not understand that reality restrict and constrict people! Can't get through the questions that "Why people have but I don't have?" And continue to have such thinking till the end of time!

For me, I think everyone must have some kind of wisdom and understanding to really be a successful human being. Greed and wants can be both helpful and destructive! Hahaha, I don't know why I post such things out either! 

Been reading some buddha teachings lately, about forgiveness and wisdom! To allow some relaxation to my mind and soul! :D (Note: I am sorry if some of my thinkings about are too narrow minded or stupid! )  

Dream

10/6/2010  3.22am

I have never posted any blog post at this particular time but I am gonna do it today.

It was cold and dark, I can clearly hear the loud snoring noise of my daddy snore next door. My face is somewhat pale and white after such dream....

The dream is somewhat messy and complex where there are lots of subplots and I hardly remember them all.

(I woke up in shocked and quickly wrote down all the events of the dream as soon as possible before I lose them)

My dream is something like this......

   I saw this girl A under the tree near the SMSA gate. She was my long lost friend and I hardly remember her. The funny part is, she got no idea why she is standing under the tree. hahaha.

Note: Usually in most dreams, we are gigving certain identities to be in a particular dream, friends may get involved)

In this dream, I am myself which is Jong Chee Yung, but my age was around 20 years old.

She and I talks about the usual stuffs that long lost friends will talk about. Nasrin Napiah was beside me with her under that particular tree. :D

Jong say: How are you? Its been a long time since we last met!

Girl A say: I am doing great! Yea, its been a long long time~
and etc

The dream then made a sudden shift to another arc!  This time Hui, girl A, Zack, Wani and I were going to Bandar in 3284(Avanza) together. Zack was the driver, she sit in front which is suppose to be my sit! Hui was beside me in the backsit but I have no idea wheres Wani in the car~ Wani was mentioned by Zack to be sited somewhere at the back of the car. *Scary*

Then everything shift to me and her standing somewhere on top of a hill area!? She told me that she is back because her mum told her too. She is taking the Shaih's scholarship??!! I did ask her why she didn't go for the Shell scholarships although I knew the answer. She replied me with strange answer saying that her mum dislike Shell scholarships and I was like (0.0)!! haha

Xing Rong played a comeo role in the dream, she send me sms saying that she want me to teach her maths~ Her house is no longer in Seria but I think her house is somewhere near Bandar in the dream.

On the way back home, Girl A and I saw a big house(Bigger than the Soon Lee's house) and she told me that the electric bill of that particular house cost 5000+. I was like (0.0) and speechless! haha

I think this is it! The end of my dream...

Her was much more mature than the last time I saw her through her clothing, looks and etc. Never thought this is how I met her again~