Almost the end~

Since a few days back, I have been thinking~ Thinking about the short -but not so short life in SMSA. My uncles and aunties once told me that going to Smsa is nothing but a big mistake in life, waste both youth and time! 

Now, I am certain that this is not the case! In this 15 months, I met lots of great new friends there~ Of coz, reunite with my awesome childhood friends too! We share lots of sweet, bitter and crappy moments together~ 

But then.....

Alevel is approaching, not only we have to study but is it an indication of the days in SMSA is coming to an end?    

To think of it, I am bad in saying "goodbye"! Just don't know how to say goodbye to friends who are so close but yet need to be separated in the end! :(

Yesterday, my dad's old workmate pay my dad a visit! This sweet uncle told me that his youth have long gone! He told me that its my time now~ Instead of being happy, I feel empty all out of a sudden! 

In my mind. I am asking, "Am I ready for it?"

He told me that studying and going to school is the sweetest moments for one's life. When you are done with all that and go out of house to face life, betrayal, back-stabbing, lies are always the most painful. (This particular uncle looks so emotional and seems like about to cry... haha)

Again! Am I ready for it? My mum tell me thats reality~ She even told me that you must keep some distance and ready to have a backup plan in every occasions, even when dealing or talking with you best of friends~ 

I don't know what to do~ I rather not be so selfish and will share everything openly with friends. The world is just not the world that I expect it to be! Too harsh ,perhaps~ Maybe, I just too stubborn to accept reality!

Its like you have to be those people who should carefully plan everything, don't tell the whole truth and will do anything just to be successful! Including betraying your family and etc! Evil and wicked*

Haha, if you watch movie! The hero will say "money is not everything"! For me, "Without money, you won't get anything or be happy in this new world". 

We will each got our own family in the future, we as adult MAY understand that wants aren't equal to needs. We need to save money and plan for future, for our family and etc.

but then....

One day in the future  if your 13 years old, son/ daughter ask you to buy an Ipad3.0 to her! If you think about it, every single classmates of her got one, only she don't have! Most importantly, you need to save money too! You reject the suggestion and didn't buy one for her. 

 How can you expect he/her to understand the part that wants and needs are two different things! Your son/daughter may turn to really hate you, not understand that reality restrict and constrict people! Can't get through the questions that "Why people have but I don't have?" And continue to have such thinking till the end of time!

For me, I think everyone must have some kind of wisdom and understanding to really be a successful human being. Greed and wants can be both helpful and destructive! Hahaha, I don't know why I post such things out either! 

Been reading some buddha teachings lately, about forgiveness and wisdom! To allow some relaxation to my mind and soul! :D (Note: I am sorry if some of my thinkings about are too narrow minded or stupid! )